The psychologist told as parents to find the words to talk with your child about bullying

Психолог рассказал, как родителям подобрать слова для беседы с ребенком о буллинге

If parents learn that their child is in school became the subject of aggressive attacks peers (bullying), then they need to learn to move very carefully and deliberately to establish a trusting relationship with him.

This commentary, ГолосUA said the psychologist, the head of the Studio “Just the other day,” Anna Yakimenko.

“In a situation when the child becomes a victim of bullying, parents need to try not to run to deal with the strikers as soon as he learned about it. A hasty intervention could create more harm, plus there is a great risk to violate the trust of the child. The first step is to breathe-to breathe, to calm down and go on the conversation with your own child. At this point it is important to know how he feels, what happened to him, what he wants to ask a very important question “How can I help you? How to support you?”. In no case do not start to criticize or to learn how would need to do, like “Well you can’t let be?” and “If you get hurt, let in the forehead.” It rarely helps the child to cope with what is happening and feel better. Immediate intervention is mandatory only in the case that there is a threat to the life or health! Step two. Learn to choose his words carefully. The child needs your empathy and support, but do not need to ask every day, “You insulted today?”, “They were?”. Such questioning bring him back in a bad situation and he can “shut down”. It is important that the child himself wanted to share with you and felt that you could confide in without unpleasant consequences.

How should we act? You must feel the child that it is very important to you and the world, as important and all of his senses. Tell me, what very strongly disagree with what they say about him peers and you get mad at them for bad attitude. Point to a specific example of the cool qualities of his character and show his confidence that he can handle this situation and you are ready to tell how to do it.

You can still share your stories or stories of friends with similar situations to show that you understand how it. Ideally, if you tell me, how come relive unpleasant moments.

You can also explain to the child that he is the main character of their life, and bullying is just some small part of this journey. You can compare this with the way some famous hero, as, say, Harry Potter or a real person who was able to do something special,” says the expert.

Yakimenko said that the child in the school need like-minded people particularly in terms of pressure from the other students.

“Parents can support their child in finding like-minded people. Might give some interesting for a child circle, where he feels in his environment. To propose to unite with those who still hurt. Power team that together it is easier to cope with the difficulties,” recommends psychologist.

A. Yakimenko added that if the health of the student as a result of the bullying could get worse and already have such fears, you need to transfer to another school.

“To change the environment is necessary only in the case of specific threats to the health of the child, or when his psychological state is deteriorating,” – said the expert.

We will remind, the UN children’s Fund (UNICEF) reports that in 2017, 24% of children in Ukraine were victims of bullying in schools, as evidenced by Thursday’s report of the Foundation “Daily lesson: Stop violence in schools”. “40% of child victims never told”, – the report says.

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